Affinity!!! Affinity to other Papua New Guineans, affinity to other Melanesians and affinity to the land that we depend on to live and live to depend on. That particular caring or nosiness (as certain non-Melanesians have termed it), that particular quality is our *pasin. It defines a minute part of our Melanesian-ness to find *wantoks everywhere and anywhere we go.

That ability to be 'affinitive' used to protect us from poverty, homelessness, abandonment and provided us with a security that no social welfare network could equate.

The simplicity of this pasin makes it easy for some people to label us as lazy, simple, ignorant and even primitive. It is far from any of those things. If I have something in excess that I know someone else needs – I will give it, knowing that I will get something else in return. Maybe not straight away and maybe not of the same value but the important thing is that neither us is in need. I know that I am never completely alone and never without help no matter what the circumstance.

Indifference is the total opposite to affinity.  Indifference is something that is alien to us Papua New Guineans. We do not naturally keep out of each other’s business. When something happens to a sibling, a cousin (twice, three times even five times removed – in PNG they’re all family), a neighbor or that mother that carries out her *buai bisnis near your place of employment, you will want to be involved in some way. It can be significant (e.g. forming a merry band to go belt your wife-basher brother in-law) or just to reassure them of your moral support (e.g. yelling words of encouragement to the merry band…) most of us cannot help but feel involved somehow.

This brings me to a disturbing new trend that is a result of a change in our pasin. In the last two years in Port Moresby if you have been anywhere near Boroko, Downtown Port Moresby or Waigani in the night, you would have noticed people sleeping on streets! Something that was previously unheard of in our society!

Now keep in mind that there is a difference between 'sleeping in the open' and 'openly sleeping'. Our ancestors slept out in the open at certain significant times. Our ancestor slept out in the open for ceremonial purposes or when hunting you slept in the open. Openly sleeping, on the other hand, is when people that are not in any way related or known to you see you sleeping *na lukim hau yu i silip.

You can imagine my shock at seeing Papua New Guineans sleeping curled up in public places (on roads, in front of shops and under trees). The first thought that came into my mind (and any other Papua New Guineans mind) was, *“Ol nogat wantok?” and THAT was the real reason for the shock and revulsion, that Papua New Guineans have lost touch with their nature (and culture) so much that we now take care of only our nuclear family, close friends and ignore wantoks. Fair enough if you cannot help a wantok but to ignore a wantok is as non-Papua New Guinean as you can get.

If we continue with the way we are going, and give up our pasin so that we can achieve our ambitions and build careers in order to ‘develop’ we will see a lot more non-Papua New Guinean trends. The danger in that is that it will not benefit either Papua New Guineans or potential investors that are interested in the ‘development’ of Papua New Guinea.

*pasin = correct/proper conduct/behavior, the way to be and behave

*wantoks = family and/or friends

*buai bisnis= betelnut business or Areca nut entrepreneur

*na lukim hau yu i silip = and can see the positions in which you sleep (culturally disrespectful, shameful)

*Ol nogat wantok? = Don’t they have any relatives/family/friends?