So it’s the end of another eventful week in Papua New Guinea. It seems scandal has made a new home here! From the wonderfully talented but somewhat confused environmentalist that works for a Canadian mining company (tsk tsk tsk-kids these days!) to the gifted far throwing politicians that can pitch a lot of mud all the while being bogged down in it.

We have been witness to some salacious headlines in the space of a week, to do with a variety of issues from the coming National Elections, to the collapse of a major artery in the road system of Port Moresby to our politician’s not-so-private lives. Yes it’s all been very exciting.

Mr Namah at the moment seems to be quite the celebrity. The paparazzi just can’t seem get enough of him, but then again his past makes for juicy columns and his present conduct can be rather vulgar and somewhat dodgy. From his involvement with Bewani Oil Palm Ltd, to his appointment as deputy PM, to his call for the biometric system to be introduced and the elections to be delayed-who can blame the media for hounding him and putting a believable ‘spin’ on certain stories that may or may not be true. Truth be told, I don’t think Papua New Guineans really give a two sh—s about your sexual orientation Mr Namah. We just want our elections on time, our public sector to be honest and just and our future to be predictable and hopefully better than our today.

We won't even bother to go into detail with 'The One' that is calling for Mr O'Neil and his faction to do something about his unruly partner. 'The One' seems to forget that he had Mr Namah sitting on his side of the fence for a long while and now that Mr Namah has jilted him we can't blame him for being bitter. There is one lesson to be learnt here-that for a relationship to work, one must be ready to truly forget and forgive their partners past. Mr O'Neil's cabinet has done that already, therefore we can safely assume that Mr O'Neil and Mr Namah have a long and meaningful relationship with many years to come ahead of them. Oh isn't it wonderful?!

Introducing Samantha Smith PhD, with over 13 years experience conducting inter-disciplinary studies blahblahblah.....um yeah anyway. Samantha Smith is this so called environmentalist who is currently the ‘Environmental Manager’ of Nautilus Minerals Inc, a Canadian company that is about to stick some machine into a volcanic vent somewhere in the sea between Namatanai (New Ireland Province) and Rabaul (East New Britain Province). The word according to Samantha Smith is that she joined Nautilus so that she could ‘influence’ Nautilus to be more attentive to the environment and so that they use methods that would have the least impact on the environment...'in a relatively new industry'. Wow! That’s like a priest going to work in a brothel and saying that he wants to ensure that the workers there go to heaven. The logic is there but you are still condoning something that would be SINFUL to others in your church (i.e profession).

But stay tuned folkes, the *F.I.O says that this episode is to be continued with a story to do with *pukpuks, Papua New Guineans and Australians.

*F.I.O=Female Intelligence Organization

*pukpuks=crocodiles